Thoughts On Ungratefulness

Deserved Grace

Having worked at the City Rescue Mission of Lansing since May, I have seen a lot of things that have begun to transform my thinking and perspective on certain subjects in interesting ways. But one of the most frequent is a trend of ungratefulness.
Everything we provide at the CRM is free. It comes at no cost the guests, as we are completely donation-based. We take no government funding, and thus, not even their taxes go to us. Therefore, whenever a guest begins to complain about service they are getting there (anything from their food to their bed), I try to remind them that they are not entitled to anything. Everything we give them is free.

But this does not stop the determination some have to make known their disputes with us. And as I have seen, it is certainly quite common for people to miss the whole point of generosity. In 2 Timothy 3, Paul warns him that difficult times are coming, when men would be ungrateful and unloving. And indeed, this is very much the case today. People in all sorts of areas in life are ungrateful. Those who seem to have everything squander it all on useless things, and many who make more money than you could ever dream of end up killing themselves. People are simply ungrateful for what they have been given, but I think this goes beyond what we like to apply it to.
I have seen a lot of ungrateful people when it comes to basic things, but what of the more complicated things? What of the things we do not think of that often? What of the things we fail to consider in our everyday lives? The fact that we have a job, a car, food, money, family, and yes, even the internet! You see, ungratefulness is more than just openly (or even privately) complaining about something we don't deserve. It goes far beyond that, and the more we think about it, the worse the pain is. Because we are most often ungrateful in our lack of gratefulness. Such a basic thought, and yet I think it should have a much greater impact than we let it. Because we have been given much, especially in Christ.

How To Be Grateful

What is man that You take thought of him, And the son of man that You care for him? - Psalm 8:4
This type of question of course is the obvious one. How is it that we show gratefulness? Perhaps the answer lies not in what we do, but in what we acknowledge has been done, and the source of anything we have. Take, for example, Joseph, who (though he was unjustly imprisoned) constantly gave credit to God, taking none for himself. Often, gratefulness is not found in openly falling on your knees and screaming all praise at the top of your lungs, for such is most often religious obligation, not genuine acknowledgement of the reality that all we have comes from God. There are two ways to show gratefulness, in a very basic sense:

1. Acknowledge. Remember what you have been given, not ignoring it or misusing it. Too often, we are given wonderful things, and at the first, are filled with all thrill and joy, but within weeks, we forget about this, and let that thing that was given us that so greatly filled us with joy fall apart and waste away. Because true gratefulness does not merely remember what has been given, but more importantly, from Whom it has come. Lest we forget, God is the One who gives life and breath and all things (Acts 17:25), since He alone is Creator. Not only this, but He is our Father, who gives us all that we need, whether or not we know we need it (Mat. 7:7-11). If we do not acknowledge Him as God and give thanks, we cannot expect that we will go unpunished (Rom. 1:21). And so it is not only good, but necessary, to acknowledge what we have, and that it came from God. If God has seen fit to provide us with something, we ought to use it until it is no longer able to fulfill a purpose. Because God does not give in ignorance, but always with purpose. This is where the second point comes into place...

2. Use. We are never truly grateful for something if we do not use it. If someone gives us something to eat, and we express all manner of gratefulness, and yet after they leave, we set it aside and ignore it while it wastes away, we have shown gratefulness, yet failed to live it, because true gratefulness will find a way to use something given. This is not to say that there aren't exceptions (as a bag of toenails simply cannot be used in any positive context), but that the norm is found in our desire to use what has been given. There may be exceptions with people, but there are simply none with God. We must always use what He has given.
This is where it gets difficult. Because often, we like to think that gratefulness is found in verbally or mentally saying "Thank you!" When, in fact, the most genuine expression of gratefulness is found in actually utilizing what has been given. And yes, this requires work! Creativity in how it is used, determination in making sure it is used, and going beyond ourselves and our comfort zone in order to make sure it is helpful, somehow, somewhere. We may not always have need of something, but certainly there are those whom we know who do have such needs.

And so, when we say things to people such as "I am so grateful for you!" we must remember what that entails. We must not simply say that, but believe it.
Take, for example, Gillian Ayotte. She is my best friend, and I honestly have no idea where I would be without her. And often I try to say that I am grateful for her And I am! But how should this be expressed? Mere verbal acknowledgement, and nothing else, is simply not gratefulness. It isn't. True gratefulness is found when I remember her in my day-to-day living, actively seek to acknowledge her through the means given me (email, messaging, etc.), remembering that she has been given by my Father in Heaven, who certainly knew I had need of her! And finally, using what has been given. Not merely acknowledging it, but taking advantage of every moment I have with her while we are alive. Asking her opinion, writing to her, spoiling her, talking with her, helping her, giving time, thought and energy for her. Such actions, and many like them, are true signs of gratefulness. Many children say they are grateful for their parents, yet they rarely speak to them, acknowledge their existence or usefulness, and are rarely ever thankful to them.
Our gratefulness must not merely be expressed through words, but through thought in our hearts, and from the heart, word and deed that are fitting to our gratefulness.

And so we cannot claim to be grateful people, and yet fail to acknowledge, remember and use. Those in the world today are ungrateful, as well as unloving. They are hateful, both of people and God, and they only seek to please themselves, striving for their own goals and aspirations, yet never those of others. The world may express gratefulness, and even live it towards other people, yet if they fail to be thankful to God, it matters not. For such "gratefulness" is filthy before God, because He is the One who provides all things. Even the rain which falls upon the unjust, unloving, ungrateful people of the world.

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